The Day He Called Me Mom
“I was standing at the kitchen sink when the younger one of my middles got my attention (we called them that because I have one son from my first marriage that we called the older, two children in the middle, and their baby brother we call the youngest … all three adopted). He pulled on my shirt to get my attention saying ‘Mom, Mom,” shared Emily Densmore. “What a moment that was for me. Even though he was my foster child he was still calling Brian and I by our first names. This day was different; we had just completed a meeting where his birth mom came into our home to explain to her children that Brian and I would be their forever family. She assured them that she loved them and would always be their mom.”
“Some may think that hearing a foster child call you mom could be chalked up as a sweet personal victory. But the victory for me was really in the camp of that brave, generous, and yes — flawed birth mother.”
“When Brian and I decided to be foster parents we quickly decided that the best path to take was one of deep respect for the birth parents and the bond that they have with their children; and the willingness to surrender to the very real possibility of family reunification. So in my book, one of my middles calling me Mom was a real victory for everyone.” “I am not going to lie. The hardest part about foster parenting is the uncertainty. Nothing is for sure. You don’t know up from down sometimes. This beautiful child you have in your life might go home tomorrow, or might stay forever. It is this uncertainty that has taught us such a valuable lesson of respect.”
The day that Emily Densmore came to St. Vincent Catholic Charities for this interview she had just responded to a call from STVCC for assistance with an emergency placement, an infant. Baby came along for the interview and even during the course of the interview and even during the course of the interview Emily was speaking directly to the baby, all-in for this sweet innocent soul who may be gone tomorrow.
Brian and Emily are still hoping to adopt a little girl to complete their family, yet they are still remaining open to those calls for foster care assistance. It is their willingness, and their respectful treatment of birth families that put them at the top of our list for Foster Family of the Year for 2015.